What is love ?

What is love?

Well it’s a question I have been asking myself for quet a while now and my dictionary explanation doesn’t quite reflect on the sad filling of venerability I am experiencing. Am not the type of person who is supper secretive … just a keen look at me you out rightly get to know me but I do have graves, deep ones that you may never dig up. I love and I stupidly fall in love more so with people way too much above my league, too much that it’s super embarrassing to actually come out and tell them. That’s how my deep graves come in, I simply hide in a smiles and a little though well orchestrated shyness. most people think am the happiest dude on the planet but no, to be honest my world is never colourful it’s just plain gray and black. Now one of my latest escaped on finding love like always I feel in love with this beautiful super gorgeous mama thats way out of my league,super polished,hails from a good family and has nothing to look up to in me or in common language “I got nothing to offer her” she is the kind that will never blue ticks on you no matter how non useful you may be or else how “useless you may be” for those who maybe asking what the he’ll is blue ticking it’s commonly used here in my country to simply mean someone simply never replies to your text willingly especially on whatsapp . Love being mysterious in it’s own way It crashed my wits and my psychologycal games that I always played on people that am not attached to and I was venerable as hell, I couldn’t formulate the right words to tell her nor compute the right math to win her. dumbest thing I ever did in my entire life was to assume she felt the same way and in my sheepy ways I ruined everything, I ruined everything so much that if ever there was a chance, I hard crashed it and even the friendship was lost and thrown in to the abyss. I simply approach her with no plan no fucking plan, no fucking direction of where to and where from, I simply ended up sucking as he’ll I even sounded as a scummy cu*t…. I thought persistence would change things but he’ll no, she simply ended up hating me. Rejection ain’t easy for those who have faced it over and over again. Hope someone can relate to that story of another day All I wanted was to be her Knight in shunning armor but I ended up sucking and instead I become a ridicule, a fool . Now mylife is Back to where it was “meaning less”. I must say love is the only thing in this whole world that I can never get to understand nor even explain,it’s hidden,it’s never like math or simple physics that the best brains like obrian’s to ever walk on planet earth could ever explain. Love has thrown me off balance more than ones to a point I let out my gut and the only thing remaining in me is an empty shell with no whatsoever soul left. I know some of you reading this my be judging me already and I may seem like a psycho to you, well guess what am not!! Nor am I going to kill myself for loves sake. No what I need you to see is how foolishly i fall in love how empty headed I become simply because of love. The man you know who makes plans and knows every aspect of economics and business,the man who interprates signals on an MT5 trader like no one else,the simply know it all dude you always talk about in your gossip session,has no clue and is void of love he has never experienced love in return despite of his unlimited givings, he has never had a soul of a woman interested in him nor shown kindness to him, that’s how fucked his love life is.   you can also read these confessions “love in high school” or “find my love in a club“